Heathcliff!
When I come to this blank page, an image arises in my mind. I recognise it from the book "Siddhartha," by Hermann Hesse. In the back of my mind I see an old man and a young man (me), standing across from each other, with a river between them. The old man is explaining to the youth that life is like the river, blah, blah, something about watching it go by. Then I put my hands on the keyboard, ready to set down something original, wise and insightful, -- yet subtly entertaining.
Then I usually take my hands off the keyboard and let the dog out.
This is my blogging experience so far.
Today, however, I have a message worthy of putting into print.
Alec Baldwin is looking for ME!!!! http://www.glamour.com/news/feature/articles/2007/01/lunchdatealecbaldwin
OK, one part of my brain knows how stupid it is for me to have this crush on a mythological character, but I'm tellin' yah...
Every once in a while, I find myself in a car full of women, and as a conversations starter (or finisher, in my case), someone will ask the age-old question "What Movie Star do you like?" I can never think of any. Even the guys who's acting I admire are not the kind of guys I would ever want to hang out with. Even the allegedly sexy ones seem like they would be sort of girly in real life. Anyway, I usually draw a blank. Sometimes a name will pop into my head as a candidate until I remember they have a major heroin addiction or some other fatal flaw (see Robert Downey Jr.).
Be that as it may, for the last 6 months A.B. has been on my mind. I was never attracted to him when he was a young, chisel-jawed leading man, but something about the overweight, middle-aged Alec speaks to my libido. -- And as for his tough-guy explosive anger problem, and obnoxious political demagoguery, uh...I'm thinking I can take him.
OK, I'm not going to write in to Glamour Magazine about how Alec needs ME to be happy. First of all, I wouldn't make the cut appearance-wise. Based on his red carpet dates, he likes tall ectomorphs in their late 20's. Anyway, where do you go from Kim Basinger? Of course, he's wrong about those women, but he'll have to find that out himself. Furthermore, I couldn't bring myself to behave like a fan/stalker (outside of my own head, I mean). Especially a public figure like Mr. Baldwin. I'd have to be introduced.
Oh yeah, then there's that whole husband and kids thing.
Clearly, the best I can hope for is that Alec will get together with someone like Janeane Garofalo. Someone short, dark, messy, irritable, probably bi-polar --yet somehow fun, true-blue and steady as she goes. Only then would I be able to lay down this wild romantic yearning and say, "I yield, I can't compete with that."
Then I usually take my hands off the keyboard and let the dog out.
This is my blogging experience so far.
Today, however, I have a message worthy of putting into print.
Alec Baldwin is looking for ME!!!! http://www.glamour.com/news/feature/articles/2007/01/lunchdatealecbaldwin
OK, one part of my brain knows how stupid it is for me to have this crush on a mythological character, but I'm tellin' yah...
Every once in a while, I find myself in a car full of women, and as a conversations starter (or finisher, in my case), someone will ask the age-old question "What Movie Star do you like?" I can never think of any. Even the guys who's acting I admire are not the kind of guys I would ever want to hang out with. Even the allegedly sexy ones seem like they would be sort of girly in real life. Anyway, I usually draw a blank. Sometimes a name will pop into my head as a candidate until I remember they have a major heroin addiction or some other fatal flaw (see Robert Downey Jr.).
Be that as it may, for the last 6 months A.B. has been on my mind. I was never attracted to him when he was a young, chisel-jawed leading man, but something about the overweight, middle-aged Alec speaks to my libido. -- And as for his tough-guy explosive anger problem, and obnoxious political demagoguery, uh...I'm thinking I can take him.
OK, I'm not going to write in to Glamour Magazine about how Alec needs ME to be happy. First of all, I wouldn't make the cut appearance-wise. Based on his red carpet dates, he likes tall ectomorphs in their late 20's. Anyway, where do you go from Kim Basinger? Of course, he's wrong about those women, but he'll have to find that out himself. Furthermore, I couldn't bring myself to behave like a fan/stalker (outside of my own head, I mean). Especially a public figure like Mr. Baldwin. I'd have to be introduced.
Oh yeah, then there's that whole husband and kids thing.
Clearly, the best I can hope for is that Alec will get together with someone like Janeane Garofalo. Someone short, dark, messy, irritable, probably bi-polar --yet somehow fun, true-blue and steady as she goes. Only then would I be able to lay down this wild romantic yearning and say, "I yield, I can't compete with that."
posted by zulhai | 5:56 AM
3 Comments:
Beautiful!
I think maybe you should send your post in as the email entry. I think you'd totally win - I hear Alec is complex, so he might not mind the whole husband and kids thing.
Hey don’t worry. I still have a crush on his ex, Kim Basinger. Actually, when I was younger it was Jacquelin Bisset (The Deep), Catherine Deneuve (Indochine), & Kathleen Turner (Body Heat). And now is either Charlize Theron or actually she is not the only one. I just think I have a good taste that’s all :)
Hey ZM,
Thanks, but in this crazy life I really might totally win. In my fantasy world, however, the husband and kids don't mind either, and we can all get together for breakfast with no awkward tension!
Bijan-jan,
All these women except Deneuve are neighbors of yours, aren't they?
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